Don't Drink The Mexican Water

The world owes you nothing. It was here first.


I’m putting that I was a Pizza Hut Book It Kid on my résumé from now on.
Your move Professional Adult Life…

If Twin Peaks 2.0 turns out anything like Mulholland Drive, I will personally decapitate David Lynch.

Think about how many people in the entire world this very moment who’re having consensual sex. Now think of all the people who aren’t…

Jerry Jones is the Hugh Hefner of the NFL.
Drake is to rap what ass to mouth is to rap.

Someone has to explain to me the difference between The Duggar Family and someone who collects Hummel figurines.

Kansas City Hey, Hey, Hey, Hey!!!

The amount of HGTV I watch is staggering to the point of depressing.

American Football

Pygmalion Festival - Champaign–Urbana, Illinois - September 28, 2014